The Registry

We're now 10 weeks away from our due date. 10 weeks away from walking into our apartment with another member of the family, who will need nourishment, shelter and clothing. When we think about the real basics of what a newborn needs - it can't be that much.

I hope to breastfeed, and to be full time parenting for at least the first few months. My husband will be winding down the school year, and we hope my mother and sister-in-law will be around to help with the cooking and cleaning those first few weeks. We hope to be very supported by our extended family and we hope our little guy will feel safe and secure and will be healthy and content.

So, what more do we need?

Originally we thought, my breasts, diapers, a few outfits, and maybe a sling.

But then we realized that maybe a first aid kit, a nursing pillow, someplace to lay the kid down to sleep (a drawer seemed fine at first, but the grandparents to be didn't "come to this country and work so hard to have their first grandchild sleep in a drawer"), a sun hat, and a few receiving blankets for swaddling would be a good idea.

And while we were thinking about it - a few pairs of socks, bedding, and a car seat would be smart(we were pretty sure that we needed one to take him home from the hospital - we weren't sure we'd be up for taking the subway).

And then at that point our friends starting chiming in about their favorite, must-have baby products - a glider chair, a hooded towel, a baby bathtub, an automatic rocking swing, a bathing suit, a second and third sling in case we didn't like the first one, footed pajamas, burping cloths, a diaper pad.

Well, these things weren't necessary. For sure they weren't. But they did seem useful and since we were borrowing them anyway, why not make our lives a little easier and our baby that much more comfortable?

At this point we thought back to our rather amorphous motivations. Simply put, we want to attempt to raise our child for one year with 100% borrowed items. Our motivations are many fold yet vague - wanting to tread more lightly on the planet, to save energy, to waste less, to consume less, to build connections with other new parents, to take up less storage space.

We know there is a line between borrowing a really nice baby blanket, and borrowing 4 kinds of strollers; but where is that line? Where do we want to draw it? And who are we as first time parents with a crazy experiment in mind to think that we can?

What about the sweaters my 92-year old grandma is sewing (should we make an exception for handmade items)? Or a few nursing bras for me (they are technically for me, not the baby?) What about baby books? We love books and know that reading to a child is very important, but wouldn't it be better to just go to the library than buy a bunch of used books? And that would take up less space, too.

And what about cloth vs. disposable diapers? And diaper service vs. washing in the apartment basement? What about trying to raise a diaper free baby?

Back again to our motivations. To challenge ourselves. To approach parenthood with a bit more awareness and a lot more humility.

This is an experiment. In many ways, we just have to see where things go. See what kind of parents we are, what kind of kid we have, where we feel is best to draw the line in the sand, and then move it. And then move it again.

For the time being, here is the list.

And here's a little how to on how to create an "alternative gift registry"