Learning new tricks with Uncle Brother and Nicole

And here are more pics from Nicole's visit.

David Harris and the Enlightened One

Our great friend David Harris came for a quick visit and dubbed the Everything Borrowed Baby "the enlightened one." Here are some pics of our Lama in training.

Green Beans at the Great Grandparents

First Solid Foods - Rice Cereal...and Peas!

Here are some adorable pics of the EBB taking his first bites of rice cereal (November 13th) and his first few bites of peas (December 18th).

Not rolling over, but totally sitting up (and reading!)

To each his own, eh?

Peas glorious peas!

Wait for it, the expression after his second scoop of peas is awfully cute.

Cute Bath Pics

That's right - random and cute bath pics.

Reading to the boy - or getting distracted while reading

Before every nap and, of course, before bedtime, we read a few stories (sometimes more than a few) from our giant collection of used children's books. Sometimes he's just so cute we get a little distracted. Here are some pictures from early October and a really cute one with Safi from today.

His first "trick"

Not sure he really gets it, but it sure is cute!

Ahhh - the forehead game!

His first game, invented by Safi, performed by Sabba and the boy.

Feeding himself

Nothing like letting the boy feed himself to create a little extra cleaning up work.

Dinner Time!

After the infamous "chill'n" video, we actually served the boy some dinner. Here he is in action.

Chill'n

This is Michelle's favorite video. Cracks her up!

Learning to sit up

Bear Cub

Enough said - so adorable, right? More pics of a random day in the life of our bear cub.

Tasting Solid Food for the First Time Ever

I love you!

Hanging out with cousin Zev

In Pittsburgh first week of November, thinking about rolling over...

He swings!

Talking and talking

Laughing his head off...

Burying the foreskin

That's right. We've had the Everything Borrowed Baby's foreskin in our freezer since the bris, so we buried it under the tree where we got married. Tradition is that the EBB will use a branch of the tree for a pole of his chuppah. Here are some pics (so he can find the tree later).

First Professional Massage

It was an exciting week this week. We've been collecting lots of borrowed 6-9 month footed pjs as the Everything Borrowed Baby has grown another size in the last few weeks - just in time for Fall; and our doula, Joan Sabba, came by to say hello and give the EBB his first professional massage. Check out more pictures here and here.

New My First Baby Videos Up

We were just featured in another My First Baby Webisode! Here's us talking about heading back to work.

And here are a few videos other videos we took for My First Baby:

Family Bonding;

Grabbing and Chewing;

Sukkot; and

It's a BOY!

And yes, he's that BIG!

Some new pics of months 3 and 4

Here are some new pics. He's moving now so a few are blurry but still cute!

Squawking in Westchester

Caught some laughing on film

Here's Danny being silly with the Everything Borrowed Baby while Michelle runs into a store to buy bagels in Brooklyn. Sorry for the poor camera work but we had to keep the camera hidden from the EBB so he would actually laugh!

Almost Ticklish

We're very close to really being ticklish. We're much more excited than he is about this development!

My First Baby Update

We haven't posted an update on the My First Baby project we're participating in, but we have been featured in a few of their webisodes!

Here we are in "First Time Out" and here we are in Sleep Tight.

Also - these took awhile to upload, but here are a few videos from June 1st (when he was just 3 weeks old!)

Here we are talking about packing the hospital bag (not sure why Michelle's mouth is on crooked?); preparing for the first doctor's appointment, talking about balancing work and baby; and my two favorites...

Danny dancing around with the baby; and

the two (well, three) of us talking about the Everything Borrowed concept a bit.

Make sure to "like" these on Facebook (especially this last one) to help spread the word about the Everything Borrowed concept.

We swear he's laughing his head off these days!

Although we can't seem to capture it on film - the EBB has quite a cute sense of humor and an adorable laugh. Alas - more out takes as we attempt to get it on camera. Appropriately, Michelle starts singing Why do Fools Falls in Love by the end of the day...we're so in love!

Tummy Time Torture

His Favorite Bouncy Seat

When Michelle's cooking or just needs a little break, the Everything Borrowed Baby loves spending time in his favorite used bouncy seat (he got three as gifts! two borrowed and this one from a garage sale). He was just looking so cute this day, we filmed it. Thanks, Grandma Arlene! Best garage sale purchase ever.

Practicing Teething at 3 1/2 months...

My thumb!

Over the past few weeks the EBB has found his fingers and thumbs and enjoys sucking on them very much! Go self-soothing mechanisms!!! Here's to hoping this means that more than 4 hours of consecutive night time sleeping is around the corner - we're exhausted!

Here he is on August 16 sucking and sleeping:


Here he is bragging about his new found skills on August 19:



And finally - here he is showing it all off - thumb sucking and cuddling stuffed animals also on the 19th:

The First Giggles!

On or around July 30, 2010 - the EBB made his first giggles. Cute little "he-he-he" like giggles that we have yet to be able to get on tape. Alas - here are some recent (unsuccessful) attempts to record all of this cuteness.

End of summer

We finished off the summer in Pittsburgh on the 8th, drove to Battle Creek Michigan, stayed for a few relaxing days, and then drove 16 hours in a car with no air-conditioning to the Berkshires. All that said, it actually was a great end to the summer. Thanks family! Here are some pics.

Date night to Kennywood

We decided to continue our love affair of wooden roller coasters with an extra long date night to Kennywood Amusement Park. As was expected - the Thunderbolt was the best! Here are some more pics.

Everything Borrowed Update

We imagined when we started this blog that raising our child on everything borrowed would be full of adventure and insights, things to share, stories of struggles and failures. It turns out - so far, so good, and not that much to write about.

(and little time to write!)

The first few weeks were filled with a near constant parade of people bringing things over (yeah friends and family) - so much so that we actually had too much stuff! Turns out the signing up for things worked for some folks (most folks, actually) but other folks just brought over big containers of (mostly great) stuff. Most people labeled what they wanted back, but a few folks didn't (Michelle is a bit anxious that she's already passed on to her sister-in-law a few tops that may not have been ours to pass on...but they weren't labeled!)

We struggled for awhile with baby furniture (almost spending $1000 for a used set from craigslist before realizing we could make do with what we had (an old bookshelf, a crib borrowed from a neighbor, and exchanging the borrowed card table/changing table we've been using for Danny's brother's old dresser).

A few nice surprises/potential resources:

Michelle's mom has made some great garage sale finds (including his favorite bouncy chair and a great umbrella stroller);

A family friend bought us some things from the uber cool Upcycled Designs - which takes old kids' clothes/gear and makes new ones out of it (we love our diaper bag made from old Smurf sheets and a towel!);

After messing up (twice!) buying used hospital grade pumps on eBay (warning: never bid postpartum!) a friend gave us a (never used, but given to her by the hospital where she birthed and therefore not "purchased") hand pump that's pretty good for now - but not ideal for when Michelle goes back to work...

And, we got a pretty cool used baby carrier from a Baby Wearing Swap Yahoo listserv.

Right now we're on the market for the following things (and we're happy to buy them):

- a used Symphony or Lactina Medela breastpump
- a used rear-facing carseat (ideally one that's compatible with the Graco travel system) for when he's over 22 pounds (he's now between 15 and 16!)
- a used cool joggling/off-roading stroller
- a used diaper changing pad (to use in the house)
- a used Ergo baby carrier (Michelle has ergo envy...)
- 4-6 used medium (for over 15 pounds) diaper covers (we've been using Bummis and Motherease and really like both)

Wish us luck!

Date Night!

Very exciting - we went on our first date night last night - a wonderful dinner at Kaya. Grandma Arlene and Grandpa Barry babysat and minus a few tears (Michelle's) when we were leaving, everything went really well.

Here are a few pictures from the last two weeks - including a few at the Left Bower Farm picnic. Go Brother/Farmer Dave!!!

Desperately Seeking Thumb

Loving the Mobile

These are a few of my favorite things...

Life is simple and quite amusing as the Everything Borrowed Baby.

Poop there it is!

This is for mature audiences only...

Down on the farm

We're enjoying hanging with the cousins on their organic Community Support Agriculture - CSA - farm! And here are some more pics from the week.

Mandatory Bath Time Video

We agree - even with edits this is too long, but, still pretty cute.



Particularly amazing when you compare him to just 2 months ago when we gave him his first sponge bath. Also too long, but cute, especially how clueless we were...

When you're smiling...

Hanging with his cousins on July 4th

Driving that train...

Bath Time!

The Everything Borrowed Baby really loves bath time in the kitchen sink in his awesome borrowed bath tub!

Reading is so much fun

The Everything Borrowed Baby really enjoys this used book - borrowed from someone - we can't remember who as it arrived that first week! And here are some more pics from the week.

Happy 7 week Birthday

Pretty amazing day today! (Although the roll-over technically happened in week 5, didn't catch it on camera or with Dad until today)

He smirks and SMILES!

He swings and (kind of) smiles

Long overdue for a real post

We have so much to write about - but no time to write. Here's a link to some new pictures, though, for some of the Everything Borrowed Baby's adoring fans (ie, Grandparents). And although the Great Grandparents don't have internet, here they are enjoying their third Great Grandchild.

MyFirstBaby.com is up and running!

That's right - the much anticipated picture of the EBB's chubby thighs and the premiere of the reality tv/webisode show - with some clips of us - My First Baby!

Here's a link to our profile and some links to our videos:

Here we are in the intro (we're just in a little clip); and here we are introducing ourselves.

Here I am (very pregnant) talking about maternity wear and also doing a little yoga.

Here's Danny talking about being a Daddy and me talking about sleep (don't I look tired...)

Us giving props to Graco talking about their awesome travel system and talking about our alternative registry with a strategically placed postpartum belly hiding plant!

So, say that you like our videos - and maybe our everything borrowed concept will catch on!

Also, before I forget - here's a link to some new pics.

Sport'n lots of borrowed items

Check out some new pics of the Everything Borrowed Baby sport'n lots of borrowed items in week 3, including:
- lots of Zachary's old blankets and clothes
- Eliana's kamono shirt (which was a huge asset during the troublesome first few days on cloth diapers...
- Ollie and Noah's awesome blue baby carrier
- the "big pants" look thanks to diaperkind's cloth diapers and Lalo's old froggy diaper covers
- and his bath brought to you via Ella's super cool temperature testing, water level monitoring, fit right in the kitchen sink bathtub.

Thanks guys!

Snappi's

A little shout out to our amazing virtual friends at diaperkind, who continue to not only shower us with lots of tips and words of encouragement that we're just about at the "sweet spot" for cloth diapers (just a few more ounces to gain - hopefully in the thighs...the baby's thighs...), but for also donating some used Snappi's. Okay - watch out world - we're going to do this! Thank you Liz and Sarah!

Diapers...

Well, the Everything Borrowed Baby is now 2.5 weeks old and our little experiment is really going well. The baby has more than enough clothes (he even has a pair of swim trunks - NB size!), blankets, hats, carriers. He has an awesome "travel system" and an adorable bassinet. Yeah, friends and family and even some "strangers" from the internet!

All that said, we haven't quite figured out the diaper thing...

We opted to use (diaperkind) diaper service and THEY have been incredible - amazing owners, great service, beautiful products. WE, on the other hand, have been...well, a little lazy/intimidated.

Week 1 we couldn't figure out how to fold the diapers such that they lay below the umbilical cord stump. Basically, we had ordered for an 8+ pound baby - and had a 7 pound baby - so we mostly just used the prefolds as burping clothes.

We then suspended service for Week 2 as the mohel - also a retired plastic surgeon - told us to use disposable for the first week to keep things extra dry (not something we wanted to mess up on).

And this week - with smaller diapers and a bigger baby - he peed and pooped through diapers and covers and outfits and sheets...numerous times a day and night.

We had opted to try to keep things simple and use the "simple fold" - that doesn't use any diaper fasteners - and we're not doing such a good job.

Today we actually took a little break and put on (chlorine free, Seventh Generation, from a half-full bag "borrowed" from a friend) disposable...but think we need to buy some Snappis asap if we're going to do this.

We'll keep you posted on how we're going to try to get those used...

New pictures - Days 9-17

Here's a picture of the Everything Borrowed Baby chilling/ zoning out on his borrowed aquarium bouncy thingie (thank you Josh, Elissa and Lexy).

And here are a bunch of new pictures we thought you'd enjoy. We've also put up some videos (see below) from the past few weeks (are we already up to "a few weeks"?) - see below or on our Shutterfly account, where we'll try to also post all pictures and videos.

My First Baby Teaser

Looks like the reality tv/internet show that Danny and I (and the baby) are in premieres June 15th on Better TV. Meanwhile - here's a little teaser video with a clip of us on it! Enjoy!

Happy One-Week Old Birthday

Bringing Baby Home - Days 2-7

Here are a few more pictures from week one.

First time out and about in the stroller...

Lest we be accused of not documenting EVERY thing the EVERYthing Borrowed Baby does (ahhh - such a first child!)....

First Sponge Bath

Notice how things start of calm and exciting (like birth) and then spiral out of control and in tears (like birth)

Feeling a sense of community

One of the motivations for trying this experiment was creating a sense of community - possibly a virtual community around this website - but more importantly a real community of friends and family, coming together, and literally providing for our child for a year. It seemed romantic and idealistic and the ultimate continuation of our relationship as a couple.

We met through mutual friends, we had a potluck picnic wedding, we host Friday night dinners at our home almost every week. And, as we met a little later in life, we both know the importance of and have relied on a larger community as an important source of support and love.

All that said, nothing could have prepared us for the gratefulness we have felt to our friends and family over the last week. It's awe-inspiring the love that has come via care packages and visits.

We're not sure if it would have felt the same to get all of these items as gifts vs. loaners/used-items, but we sense that this is different.

In a way this experiment connects us physically to our friends and their babies. In a way it feels like they're lending us - passing on - a piece of their happiness as a family. In a way, by being a bit more of a pain in the neck, our friends and family are going the extra mile and showing they love us and our little guy - despite of or maybe because of - our craziness.

We feel so blessed, humbled and thankful to all of you for welcoming our child into the world with so much love.

THANK YOU to everyone!

Day 4 - Waking up is hard to do

The everything borrowed baby continues to amaze us even though all he really does is sleep, nurse, poop, pee and burp - and then do them all again...and again, and again, and again.

Here's a little video we took this morning.

Day 2 - We didn't borrow this baby

Introducing the Everything Borrowed Baby!

Born 5/10/10 at 11:57pm, 7 pounds 3 ounces, 19.5 inches. Mexico Mother's Day in honor of Michelle's 3 years living in Mexico.

Mommy and Daddy and Baby are happy, healthy and madly in love.

Here are some pictures from his birthing day and here's a little video taken from the hospital, 30 hours old.

My First Baby

Amazingly enough, a few weeks ago we were selected - along with a group of other new parents/families across the country - to be a part of a little reality tv/internet program called "My First Baby," which will be aired weekly starting in June! It's pretty exciting stuff - and we're hoping to be able to talk a lot about our little experiment during the filming. We just submitted our first video to the project - a 30 second intro to us - and thought you might enjoy these outtakes. Stay tuned!

Used Car Seats – Pretty in Pink

When we started to talk to folks about Everything Borrowed, many of them said, “Great – we are dying to get rid of this old car seat – do you want it?” Michelle’s mom even went out a bought a beautiful car seat from a local garage sale for just $10. This seemed like it was going to be one of the easier items to borrow, right? Not necessarily.

Just like used breast pumps, there are numerous safety issues with used car seats. Many safety organizations do not recommend buying used car seats at garage sales, on line, or from people you don’t know well. Alas, the first time in 60+ years Michelle's mom's bargain shopping didn't pan out...

So, we needed to figure out what the safety issues were and how to make sure the one we borrowed would be safe for our son - and not too too girly - we know, surprising from such progressive parents. It's just been hard enough that everyone thinks he's a girl in utero (and no, that doesn't mean Michelle developed a big ass during pregnancy - it just means she's carrying "a little wide").

We found a great online checklist by CPSafety, a collection of moms/certified child passenger safety technicians and instructors in Central Indiana that appears to go over the major safety concerns around used car seats, including:

- The age of the seat (many car seats are not recommended for use after 5 years)
- The history of seat (many car seats are not recommended for use after a moderate or severe car accident – some even after a minor accident)
- Whether it’s been recalled (the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has an up to date searchable database about recalled car seats and car seat parts)
- The quality of the seat (many car seats are not recommended for use if there are cracks, bends, rust, frayed parts or other damages)

Via CPSafety we learned about The National Child Passenger Safety Certification Training Program, which certifies individuals as child passenger safety technicians and instructors. Even though (back to gender stereotyping) Danny is 200% positive he knows what he's doing and "can install a car seat, I-have-my-PhD-you-know," it’s recommended to have a technician take a look at your car seat and make sure it’s installed properly. Although some hospitals, police stations and fire departments can also provide these services, we found a searchable data base of official child safety seat inspection stations.

Finally, we found a host of other online resources that might come in handy very soon, including:

Safe Kids USA - a nationwide network of organizations working to prevent unintentional childhood injury, the leading cause of death and disability for children ages 1 to 14. They have some great resources including a quick guide to car seat safety for 0-12 months, numerous fact sheets and resources on car seats, boosters and seat belts and a searchable database of Child Safety Seat Check-Up Events

Healthy Children – a website of The American Academy of Pediatrics that has a nice overview of basic car seat safety

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration’s child seat recall list as well as links on how to register your car seat with the manufacturer to stay informed about new recalls and safety issues. Manufacturers are required to notify all registered owners by first class mail if their child restraint is included in a recall.

So, what did we learn? We learned that the car seat that Michelle's mom bought at the garage sale was over 10 years old and probably not safe to use even if we did know the previous owner. We also found out that a few of the seats our friends wanted to lend us were also too old, too beat up, or missing key parts.

We finally settled on a lovely - and pink - 1-year old Graco car seat that has not been recalled and have it stored in a secret location until the birthing day.

Used Breast Pumps - Milking Michelle

As a vegan who enjoys explaining to people how cows (left to their own devices) don't need to be milked and we're the only species that drinks other animals' milk after weening, Michelle was a little apprehensive about introducing any type of dairy pumping mechanism into our lives. Luckily her apprehension about having to give up her 8+ hours of sleep every night for a year - and Danny wanting to help with night feedings - got her thinking that maybe being milked by an electronic device is not all that bad.

Plus, both of us are VERY committed to breastfeeding (there are some rumors that Danny's brothers - both Harvard grads - were breastfed for 2.5 years...and his mom is not a hippie). Regardless, there are still numerous benefits to breastfeeding exclusively for 6 months and then continuing along with other food at least up to a year, so we're going to try to do it.

Plus, Michelle had a lot of food intolerances as a baby (including cow and goat milk, soy and sugars), and it seems like one of the most basic ways to “go simple” when it comes to raising a child without unnecessary purchases is to feed'em with what nature gave us.

So why even talk about breast pumps?

A few reasons:

Number 1, as we mentioned above, we would like to have Danny involved in the feeding and nourishment of the baby. Not only from a general bonding standpoint (we’re going to ignore the concept of male lactation for the moment – but check out this article by Jared Diamond, professor, scientist and author of Guns, Germs and Steel), but also from a practical and useful perspective. If Michelle is able to pump, Danny can do some middle of the night feedings; and he can take the baby on a walk and have a food supply on hand.

Number 2, same goes for the grandparents-to-be and other friends and family (and maybe caregivers down the line).

Number 3, breast pumps can be useful to help facilitate regular breastfeeding or to enable a baby to have better access to breast milk. Breast pumps can be used to stimulate lactation for women with low milk supply or to relieve engorgement (which is not only painful, but can prevent proper latching on). If a baby is having trouble latching, pumping can facilitate break milk consumption via a bottle. Having a supply of breast milk on hand and a baby that can take a bottle is also useful if a mom needs to take medication that affects breast milk (in which case she can “pump and dump” to keep up her supply) or has a temporary low supply (possibly due to medication, dehydration, etc ).

Number 4, things may change and if a bottle isn’t introduced early enough, some babies won’t take one (or will only take one after hours of crying...). The timing of when to introduce a bottle seems to vary from between 4-6 weeks or 8-10 weeks, but the general consensus seems to be 1-2 weeks before a period of separation (like returning to work) is needed and ideally not before 2 weeks but sooner than 2.5 months or so is best.

So, now that we’ve established that pumping may very well be useful – when/if/how to acquire a used pump or borrow a pump?

In most cases, for at least the first few weeks, a pump is not needed, so we don't think it's necessary to have one on hand before the baby arrives. If milk production becomes an issue and pumping is recommended a rental pump can quickly be acquired. In many ways this is ideal as it would enable us to check out a brand or two before making a larger commitment (and this way our midwives won't look at us with that look - "the best pump is your baby").

But should a pump be borrowed? What are the health and financial implications of used pumps?

Basically, there are closed system pumps (hospital grade) and open system pumps (regular purchase) and, to avoid the accidental transmission on HIV, Hepatitis and Cytomegalovirus, only closed system/hospital grade pumps are safe to borrow/rent/share.

Hospital grade pumps in New York rent for about $70-$80/month or $180-$210 for 3 months plus the purchase of the necessary accessories ($45-60) and regular (open system) pumps cost between $35 (manual) and $350 (automatic). Medela (a favorite of a lot of people – especially the Classic and the Lectina) has an interactive website to search for rental agents in your neighborhood.

That said, if someone (like us) is interested in pumping for up to a year, it doesn’t make a lot of economic sense to rent a hospital grade pump and borrowing them is hard (we don’t know anyone who owns one that isn’t a rental agent). Therefore, if we need it, it might make sense to buy a used hospital grade pump (hard to trust its condition and where it came from), or to (yikes!) buy a new one and then resell it after we’re done.

A quick glance at Froogle indicates that there are quite a few used Medela hospital grade pumps out there for about $300 each – (and a few Ameda Elite, but these are not on the FDA approved list) so we think we’ll probably just hang tight - see what happens when the little guy comes out - and know that we can buy one if/when the time comes.

We’ll keep you posted.

Meanwhile – a few resources:

According to the Food and Drug Administration:
“You should never buy a used breast pump or share a breast pump.
Only FDA cleared, hospital-grade pumps should be used by more than one person. With the exception of hospital-grade pumps, the FDA considers breast pumps single-use devices. That means that a breast pump should only be used by one woman because there is no way to guarantee the pump can be cleaned and disinfected between uses by different women.

The money you may save by buying a used pump is not worth the health risks to you or your baby. Breast pumps that are reused by different mothers can carry infectious diseases, such as HIV or hepatitis.

Buying a used breast pump or sharing a breast pump may be a violation of the manufacturer’s warranty and you may not be able to get help from the manufacturer if you have a problem with the pump.”

Here is a great overview of the health issues around used breast pumps, as well as a list of FDA approved breast pumps for multiple users and statements by various hospital grade pump producers on used breast pumps.

In addition, here is the consumer reports report on pumps in general, a great review of various breast pumps, and an overview of hospital grade pumps.

Getting Ready for Baby - Bringing him home on the subway?

Now that we’re just a few weeks away from our baby’s birthing day, it’s time to get serious about the list – and identify the 5 or so most important things we really need in order to take our little one home from the hospital and take care of him for the first few weeks or so.

We think the short list is a car seat (we're still looking into this - but apparently it's quite frowned upon - though not illegal - to bring your newborn home on the subway or in a cab without a car seat), new born cloth diapers and diaper covers, a few outfits and receiving blankets and possibly a breast pump.

Lucky for us, our sister-in-law has already set aside enough new born outfits and receiving blankets (hand me downs from our three year old nephew) to get us through the first few days without having to do laundry; and we’re using a diaper service (commercial plug: for friends and family without hand me downs to lend – you can gift our baby-to-be a week’s worth of diapers for $30) that will start delivery right after the baby arrives, so that just leaves the hard stuff. The hard stuff because there’s safety issues involved in each of them.

Check out the next two posts as we explore used breast pumps - aka Milking Michelle and used car seats - aka Pretty in Pink.

Reactions from Friends and Family

Well, now that the secret is out - we've gotten a lot of funny reactions from folks:

"What a great idea - it's kind of like no impact man - are you guys trying to get a book deal?"

"Are you sure we're related?" - from a highly fashionable cousin

"You're so EARTHY!" - from a less fashionable cousin

"But what do I get you - I don't have kids!?!"

I think our favorite so far was a picture of a great example of how borrowing/re-using items can be quite beautiful and amazing. Here is a picture of a little girl named Chloe on her first birthday and our cousin Marilyn, her grandma, 61 years earlier, both wearing the same dress. So cute!

Everything Borrowed Video

Coming Out to Friends and Family

In addition to being insecure first-time parents, we're also a bit insecure about this whole experiment. Will we fail? Is failing buying wipes (we hadn't even thought about wipes until this weekend)? Is failing deciding after three months that we need to go to Buy Buy Baby (please no!)? Is failing forgetting that this is just a process (like parenting!) where we'll try our best and see what happens?

Or, is failing making all of our friends and family totally hate us for forcing them to participate? Because, you know, some of them will be completely annoyed and some just won't get it.

Truth is, we're already a bit annoying. We had a potluck vegetarian (practically vegan) potluck picnic wedding. We make people take off their shoes (even really cute boots) when they come into our apartment. We met, got engaged, moved in together, all in less than a year; and then got pregnant right after the wedding - all the while joking that we're still "getting to know each other" - our poor parents...

As for our friends, we sincerely hope they will love this idea because either 1) they'll get to unload some old baby stuff they've been meaning to get rid of or 2) they'll realize they are completely off the hook and won't get us anything!

But for our parents, it's bigger. We're asking the grandparents-to-be NOT to buy our little guy ANYTHING new - not to impulse buy the "cutest little snow suit ever" 70% off at Janie and Jack, not to troll Amazon for reprints of their favorite children's books, not to do what is their God given right as grandparents - shower this kid with all of the junk, and plastic products from China, and battery operated toys that they never bought for us!

And worse, ask their friends to do the same.

The grandparents-to-be - we're afraid they might suffer. At least, at first, they'll feel denied.

So, much like the baby name discussions and the wedding planning, we'll talk to them. We'll tell them our ideas, we'll listen to their objections, and then we'll all move on. They will step up (as best they can), they will complain to their friends (we expect nothing less), and in the end, it will work out great. It will be fun. More than fun - it will be really cool.

All that energy they would have spent "buying" might be spent writing little notes, putting together a scrapbook, or babysitting. All that money saved might be put in a college fund, or used to travel to us and spend the weekend in New York City. And all that stuff that would have cluttered our apartment, will just leave more space for hosting family dinners, overnight visitors, and grand-baby #2!

The Registry

We're now 10 weeks away from our due date. 10 weeks away from walking into our apartment with another member of the family, who will need nourishment, shelter and clothing. When we think about the real basics of what a newborn needs - it can't be that much.

I hope to breastfeed, and to be full time parenting for at least the first few months. My husband will be winding down the school year, and we hope my mother and sister-in-law will be around to help with the cooking and cleaning those first few weeks. We hope to be very supported by our extended family and we hope our little guy will feel safe and secure and will be healthy and content.

So, what more do we need?

Originally we thought, my breasts, diapers, a few outfits, and maybe a sling.

But then we realized that maybe a first aid kit, a nursing pillow, someplace to lay the kid down to sleep (a drawer seemed fine at first, but the grandparents to be didn't "come to this country and work so hard to have their first grandchild sleep in a drawer"), a sun hat, and a few receiving blankets for swaddling would be a good idea.

And while we were thinking about it - a few pairs of socks, bedding, and a car seat would be smart(we were pretty sure that we needed one to take him home from the hospital - we weren't sure we'd be up for taking the subway).

And then at that point our friends starting chiming in about their favorite, must-have baby products - a glider chair, a hooded towel, a baby bathtub, an automatic rocking swing, a bathing suit, a second and third sling in case we didn't like the first one, footed pajamas, burping cloths, a diaper pad.

Well, these things weren't necessary. For sure they weren't. But they did seem useful and since we were borrowing them anyway, why not make our lives a little easier and our baby that much more comfortable?

At this point we thought back to our rather amorphous motivations. Simply put, we want to attempt to raise our child for one year with 100% borrowed items. Our motivations are many fold yet vague - wanting to tread more lightly on the planet, to save energy, to waste less, to consume less, to build connections with other new parents, to take up less storage space.

We know there is a line between borrowing a really nice baby blanket, and borrowing 4 kinds of strollers; but where is that line? Where do we want to draw it? And who are we as first time parents with a crazy experiment in mind to think that we can?

What about the sweaters my 92-year old grandma is sewing (should we make an exception for handmade items)? Or a few nursing bras for me (they are technically for me, not the baby?) What about baby books? We love books and know that reading to a child is very important, but wouldn't it be better to just go to the library than buy a bunch of used books? And that would take up less space, too.

And what about cloth vs. disposable diapers? And diaper service vs. washing in the apartment basement? What about trying to raise a diaper free baby?

Back again to our motivations. To challenge ourselves. To approach parenthood with a bit more awareness and a lot more humility.

This is an experiment. In many ways, we just have to see where things go. See what kind of parents we are, what kind of kid we have, where we feel is best to draw the line in the sand, and then move it. And then move it again.

For the time being, here is the list.

And here's a little how to on how to create an "alternative gift registry"

Everything Borrowed

My husband and I are expecting our first child - a boy - this spring. We're late 30-somethings, living in New York City. He's a school teacher, I'm an environmental consultant, mostly for non-profits. We try to do good by the world. We recycle, we sell our old appliances on craigslist, we eat a mostly vegetarian diet, we take public transportation and we try to remember to bring cloth bags to the grocery store.

That said, we consume a lot and we throw away a lot. We're a part of a disposable culture where we order new things on Amazon a few times per month and throw away perfectly good old kitchen cabinets to make way for new ones from Home Depot. Too many weekends are spent organizing our closets filled with things we really don't need, to make room for new things we could probably do without.

And we're bringing a baby into this world. A baby who really needs little more than a few outfits, breast milk and a roof over his head for the first new months, yet his carbon footprint will inevitably be significant - tens of thousands of times more than babies in developing countries.

But we want the best for this baby - and for us! We want him to have cute little summer hats and a cozy bassinet. We want to be able to carry him around in a really comfortable sling and leave him with a relative and a bottle so we can go to the movies now and then.

As a result, what we're proposing to do is not carbon neutral. It's not the lowest impact possible, nor is it going to completely simplify our lives and de-clutter our closets. What it will do - we hope - is to help us strive towards consuming less and disposing less. We hope it will have a net positive impact on the environment, on our wallets and on our storage space. We hope that it will help us build community and enable us to begin parenthood with a big dose of awareness and humility.

And we hope that it will inspire us to continue to set goals for ourselves that help us leave the world a little better than we found it. We'll see.