Coming Out to Friends and Family

In addition to being insecure first-time parents, we're also a bit insecure about this whole experiment. Will we fail? Is failing buying wipes (we hadn't even thought about wipes until this weekend)? Is failing deciding after three months that we need to go to Buy Buy Baby (please no!)? Is failing forgetting that this is just a process (like parenting!) where we'll try our best and see what happens?

Or, is failing making all of our friends and family totally hate us for forcing them to participate? Because, you know, some of them will be completely annoyed and some just won't get it.

Truth is, we're already a bit annoying. We had a potluck vegetarian (practically vegan) potluck picnic wedding. We make people take off their shoes (even really cute boots) when they come into our apartment. We met, got engaged, moved in together, all in less than a year; and then got pregnant right after the wedding - all the while joking that we're still "getting to know each other" - our poor parents...

As for our friends, we sincerely hope they will love this idea because either 1) they'll get to unload some old baby stuff they've been meaning to get rid of or 2) they'll realize they are completely off the hook and won't get us anything!

But for our parents, it's bigger. We're asking the grandparents-to-be NOT to buy our little guy ANYTHING new - not to impulse buy the "cutest little snow suit ever" 70% off at Janie and Jack, not to troll Amazon for reprints of their favorite children's books, not to do what is their God given right as grandparents - shower this kid with all of the junk, and plastic products from China, and battery operated toys that they never bought for us!

And worse, ask their friends to do the same.

The grandparents-to-be - we're afraid they might suffer. At least, at first, they'll feel denied.

So, much like the baby name discussions and the wedding planning, we'll talk to them. We'll tell them our ideas, we'll listen to their objections, and then we'll all move on. They will step up (as best they can), they will complain to their friends (we expect nothing less), and in the end, it will work out great. It will be fun. More than fun - it will be really cool.

All that energy they would have spent "buying" might be spent writing little notes, putting together a scrapbook, or babysitting. All that money saved might be put in a college fund, or used to travel to us and spend the weekend in New York City. And all that stuff that would have cluttered our apartment, will just leave more space for hosting family dinners, overnight visitors, and grand-baby #2!